Time Spent Alone
by jcon539
Summary: Just because I have a bad reputation, that's mostly true, does NOT mean the school can assign me some sort of babysitter! I can handle myself! I never needed anyone before and I definitly don't need anyone now. Get the point! I'm a lost cause.
1. Wallow

**I rewrote this story to follow my designated plot better! **

**It's going to be ten times better!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts  
**

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Chapter 1

Oh my fucking god, this cigarette is good!

I inhale and let the cool smoke flow down my throat. Cigarette smoke is so smooth. The nicotine creeps up on you. You can't even tell it's calming you until you're already calm. It's so effortless.

I smirk at the goody two-shoes exiting the auditorium.

Today's convocation: Smoking Kills You So Don't You Even Fucking Dare Try A Drag Of That Sweet Stuff!

I skipped it. I don't need to sit and listen to some stiff preach about how stupid my generation is for smoking. _They _started it a bazillion years ago. And now they want to pin it on us.

Sorry, I'm not wasting my time.

I spent the good hour or two smoking as much as I can while sitting on the wall outside of the auditorium. The doors to the auditorium open and rule abiding students start to filter out.

Two girls that just scream goody-two shoes walk by and shoot me a _look._

You know the look, the look that could kill. The look that can make someone want to crawl under a rock to hide. The look that makes me want to spit in the looker's eyes. I let the smoke rush out of my mouth and a idea starts to half form in my head.

"Hey girls, wanna smoke?" I called out to them.

The blonde haired one stops to say, "I don't do that stuff and you shouldn't either, Roxas."

I bite my tongue to keep from cracking up laughing. Did she learn that shit in second grade? I mean honestly, that was pretty damn square. The blonde girl frowns at me indignantly. She really doesn't see how lame her comeback was. It's actually a little sad.

I compose my face into a serious expression, "You're right Namine, from this day forth I shall stop this nasty habit. Thank you for showing me the light! Wait no, thank you for saving my fucking life!"

I collapsed back on the wall in a laughing fit. The look on Namine's face is just priceless. Aw man I wish I had a camera to capture that expression forever.

"Come on, Namine, we don't need to listen to this burnout," spat Kairi. Kairi is a bimbo queerleader. She wears skank clothes and has a new boyfriend every five seconds. But she's still a virgin. It doesn't matter how many dicks have pounded that vag. She is still a virgin! And don't you dare tell her any different because Kairi is most defiantly a virgin.

"Daaaaaammnn Kairi, I would like to personally thank you for wearing such a short little dress," I said with a suggestive smile. Kairi isn't really my type, at all, but it was worth it to see her face blush in anger and embarrassment…or flattery, I don't know what goes through a slut's mind when complimented on her skankiness.

"What's going on over here?" Enter Sora the resident perky, perfect, friends with everyone guy. He wears clothes bright enough to blind you. He has a certain twinkle in his eye and a bounce in his step that just screams "I am a happy!"

"Well hey there Sora! Namine, Kairi, and I were just about to enjoy a smoke together. Don't worry you can join too?" I said waving at Sora like we are good friends. We use to be friends once upon a time but we just grew apart. I got undeniably cooler and he stayed lame.

"Just leave them alone, Roxas," said Sora while shooting me a glare that wouldn't scare a small child.

I jumped off the wall I was sitting on and walked over to Sora and leaned towards him to suggestively whisper in his ear, "Alright. But only if you promise I can "bother" you all I want.

Sora shoved me away with a disgusted look on his face, "What is your problem!?"

"So I guess that's a no?" I asked with a mock sad expression on my face.

"No! You're disgusting! Just leave Roxas, nobody wants you around here," yells Sora. The last sentence hurts a little, because it's totally true. This school hates me. The teachers would have murdered me already if it wasn't against the law. Half of the kids were afraid of me, while the other half would cheer if I dropped dead suddenly. I mean it's all sorta my own fault, but it's not like I enjoy being notoriously hated.

"Jeez, no need to spazz. I'm gone," I say waving over my shoulder at the trio. I hope they all get gang raped on the walk home from school. I'm surprised Sora freaked out on me. He used to be so easygoing. I didn't know he even owned a temper. His balls must have dropped since I last talked to him.

The bell wasn't going to ring for another ten minutes, but I don't think they would notice if I was gone or even care for that matter.

I walked down the street to the bus stop to wait for a bus to take me downtown. The old rust bucket of a vehicle pulled up with a screech that could make your ears bleed. The overweight driver in a blue uniform pulled the doors open with a bored expression on his face. I dropped my money in the fare box and took a seat near the back.

Public transportation sucks some major dick. Some creepy homeless dude was eyeing me across the aisle. In his dreams. The bus bumped along the road and screeched to a stop every few minutes to pick up more passengers, making the inside of the bus smellier and more crowded. If anything could drive me to suicide, it would be the bus.

I got off the bus at my stop, happy to leave the perverted homeless man behind. I stood in downtown Twilight Town. The ancient houses were crammed together with the paint peeling. People sat on their porches smoking and rocking screaming babies. Old souped up cars grumbled by. I could hear police sirens off in the distance.

God I love this place!

I strolled up to an old green house and knocked on the door three times. The door opens slowly and a guy with some serious black dreads and muttonchops pokes his head out.

"Xaldin! What's up, man!?" I chirp happily.

"Shhhhh! Don't be so loud! Hurry up and get in here before anyone sees," hisses Xaldin looking around the street. He's one paranoid dude. He's all convinced someone is watching him at all times waiting to catch him and throw him in jail. It's not a bad trait considering the business he's in. But it gets a bit annoying.

I walk into the room and Xaldin closes the door and bolts it shut behind me. The first time that freaked me out, but I'm use to it now. I thought he was going to kill me or something. He is one scary looking dude. His arms are bigger than my waist. But I learned as long as I don't fuck him over he won't do anything to me.

"What can I do for you?" asks Xaldin his composure getting a tad bit more relaxed now that the door is locked.

"Oh you know the usual," I respond looking at the man passed out on the old worn out couch. I'm not really sure if he's passed out or dead. I take a closer look to see his chest rising and falling faintly. He's alive at least.

Xaldin leaves for a couple minutes and then walks back into the room holding a syringe filled with my favorite kind of liquid, "Money up front like always."

I pull the money out of my pocket and give it to him. I feel excited when he hands the syringe over to me. I can't wait for the high. I've been waiting all day for this. It's feels like I haven't eaten in years and someone just handed me a bag full of Mcdonalds and Krispy Kreme Donuts.

"The goods are over on the table," says Xaldin sitting down on one of his threadbare armchairs.

I go over to couch and shove the barely alive guy's legs out of the way. He doesn't even stir.

I am ready to feel amazing. I take my hoodie off and throw it on the floor in a rush. I grab the leather belt off the table and wrap it around my arm pulling it tight. My veins slowly start to poke out against my pale skin. I take a deep breathe before pushing the needle into a vein and getting every last drop of liquid gold into my body. I have a weird needle phobia. As long as I'm the one pushing it past my skin, then it's okay. But if someone else comes near me with a needle then I freak the fuck out. I'm afraid the doctor or nurse is going to pick that moment to go crazy and start stabbing me until I deflate like a balloon.

I feel a rush of the drugs entering my system, the amazing feeling of rising into infinite highness. A feeling that makes me want to cry, laugh, and scream all at the same time. I feel pity for everyone that has never felt so amazing. I feel pity for every second of my life that I don't feel like this.

Xaldin stands up from his chair "Have fun little man."

I want to say something back to him but I can't think of the right words to thread together to make a coherent sentence. So I smile at him and go back to riding out my high.

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Hours later I'm still on that couch with a sappy smile on my face. I have a feeling that I'm wasting a lot of time. But I can't do anything about it. The minutes seem to last hours. And the hours seem to only last seconds. I can't tell if I'm sleeping or if this is real.

My body is tingling with happiness.

I feel warm.

Then I feel cold.

Then I feel numb.

Now I feel warm again.

Xaldin walks into the room, "You need to get out of here. It's getting late."

His voice sounds really stretched out. The sentence sounds to me like, "Yoooouu neeeeed to geet ouuut of heeeeeerrrreee."

I smile up at him. I don't really get what he's saying. But his voice is nice. I would like for him to talk more. Xaldin sighs and grabs onto my arm pulling me up. His hand on my arm feels amazing. Like my arm is having an orgasm.

He opens the door and quickly shoves me out onto the porch. The sun is just setting. The colors are beautiful. I could stare at them all day. "You gotta get home before that uncle of yours figures where you've been, man," says Xaldin before closing the door.

I start walking. I don't know where I'm going, but I am walking. I am free to go wherever I want without the help of anyone else. I could walk around the Earth! Or walk to another planet! I never appreciated my legs this much before. Walking is such an exhilarating activity.

Until you trip over something.

I look around and notice I am in the park lying next to a bench. The sun is almost gone. I don't really want to get up and walk more. I don't think I can even get back up right now. I sure as hell don't want to go home. I sprawl out on the ground. It feels like a five star mattress to me.

The ground is my friend.

I curl up on the ground and enjoy the sounds of the night.

I become a cricket.

I become the wind.

Because the universe is one.

We are all one and many at the same time.

I close my eyes and the drugs pull me towards unconsciousness. I don't fight it. The drugs have never hurt me. They only make me feel good.

I always listen to what they say.

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**Eh. Not too different.**

**I just like this story! I have all the other chapters revised. I gotta start writing new stuff!  
**

**Review? I got bitched out by some chick today for "stealing her ex boyfriend" who I've met twice. The hell? Reviews would cheer me up!  
**


	2. Chokin on the Splinters

**I don't like when it takes authors FOREVER to update when I'm into a story.**

**So I am going to work like a single mom stripper to tell this story!**

**Disclaimer: Not my characters.**

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Chapter 2

I awake to a bird sitting on my chest.

I am shocked to see this fat ass pigeon lounging on my chest staring at me stupidly. It's staring straight into my eyes like it's trying to steal my soul or something!

"Get off me," I say looking at it intensely.

The bird just stares back at me like it didn't understand me. Oh right, it probably didn't, cause it's like a bird.

I sit up suddenly making the bird flap its wings wildly and fly off. Birds are nasty little creatures. I probably have a ton of diseases now or fleas. I hate fucking birds. I hope they choke on the fumes of all the nasty public transportation buses.

I look around getting my bearings. Somehow I ended up at the park. I can't really remember much of what I did yesterday. I remember most of school and messing with Kairi, Namine, and Sora. I remember going to Xaldin's and shooting up. But everything gets a little fuzzy there. Apparently I walked a lot because the park is a block away from my school. I had to ride the bus for ten minutes to get to Xaldin's place.

I stretch my arms and stand up. I look at my watch to see that there is about fifteen minutes until school. God I hate fucking school. I really just want to skip but last year I skipped too much and social services are watching my ass now. Government agencies and school boards can suck my dick.

I slowly make my way out of the park and to the hated building I am going to waste the next seven hours of my life in now. Kids sit around the lawn talking happily, waiting to begin their perfect school days. They all are so perfect. It makes me sick. It makes my physically want to throw up in all of their faces.

Man, I have a massive headache. It could be my hangover making me want to puke too.

I walk past a few groups of people and they shoot me curious glances. I probably look like hell. But it's not like I care. I usually just wear black clothes because they are easy to match. And my hair spikes out to one side like crazy, so I let it go free. I honestly could care less about my appearance. It's not like there is anyone to impress around here.

"Wow you look like hell, Roxas," says one kid sitting next to a tree with Sora and company. I think this his name is Riku? But it could be Ricky. Maybe? I don't care!

"Yeah you too, Ricky," I say back.

"That's Riku," he calls to me angrily.

"That's what I said, Ricky," I call back. I don't get to hear his reply because I walk through the school doors to get to my locker.

I really hope I have a jacket in there. I am freezing. I'm starting to shiver and goose bumps are covering my arms, which is weird because it's still September and about 70 something degrees outside.

I fumble with my lock for a few seconds trying to get it to open but my locker is a terrorist. It won't open. And the lock keeps clanging against the metal locker making my headache even worse.

God it's like a construction crew is drilling in my brain!

I slap my hands against the locker in frustration.

"Having locker trouble?" I look over to see some tall red-haired kid looking down at me. I think his name is Alex. I've never talked to him before, but I've seen him around school hanging out with his weird friends.

"My locker is a terrorist," I grumble hitting my head against the locker. Considering my mass headache that wasn't the best idea.

"Ow, fucking owwwwww," I moan clutching my head in my hands. I really think I cracked my skull in half!

"Are you okay?" asks Alex looking like he's regretting ever talking to me now.

"I am just great, Alex! Could you do me a favor and handle the terrorist threat? The secret code is 35-6-1," I reply sarcastically still holding my head.

"Sure! But my name is actually Axel," he says twirling my lock and swinging my locker door open easily, making me feel completely idiotic.

I stare stupidly into my locker in a daze before I realize it's my turn to speak, "Oh my bad."

"It's alright, I'll see you around, um what's your name again?" he says with a weird look on his face.

"I'm Roxas. Thanks for the help," I shout after him as he walks away. It's very strange for someone to even talk to me at school, unless it's an unoriginal insult, let alone help me. I'm honestly a bit shocked. Why would he be nice to me?

I stare back into my locker like it's going to give me an answer. Sadly my locker holds no jacket or aspirin or answers. Today is just not my lucky day.

I pull my history book out with a sigh. Do I even have history first period? I guess I'll find out when I get there. Not like it really matters. I don't discriminate on what classes I sleep in. I can snooze in history just as easily as I snooze in math.

I let my feet carry me to my first class. I walk in a daze. People bump into me a couple times and I'm not sure if it's on purpose or accident. I don't really give a fuck either way.

My first class ends up being Language Arts. I didn't win the Pick the Right Textbook game. Oh fuck my life.

I take my seat in the back of the classroom. Sora and his posse walk in a few seconds later. I laugh a little at the word posse. It reminds me of like guys in leather jackets doing the snap walk to the jukebox.

"Dude he is so on something." I hear some lower life form whisper. I really hate when they start rumors about me, even if they are totally truthful rumors. But I don't care enough to do anything about it.

Sora takes his seat in front of my desk and turns around to face me, "Are you alright, Roxas?"

I don't get why he's bugging me. We usually ignore each other. We have a good thing going on. "I'm fine. Why?"

"You're wearing the same clothes as yesterday and you don't look so good," replies Sora looking up and down at my dark jeans and black t-shirt. He's wrong! I had a hoodie yesterday! What happened to my hoodie? That was my favorite one.

"I love this outfit so much I decided to wear it all over again," I said grinning madly. I don't want to talk to you Sora, so fucking turn around.

"Whatever," says Sora totally not believing me. But I don't really care. I see that he is _perfectly_ primped up for school. His hair is _perfectly_ clean and spiked. His clothes match _perfectly_. He probably slept in a bed last night. He probably woke up that cat he had instead of a diseased pigeon. And I am positive he isn't hungover.

Nope. I'm not feeling jealous right now. Not a bit.

The teacher decides to walk in at that moment to spread general boredom throughout the room. I lay my head down and sleep until the bell rings. Or at least try to sleep. Some chicks behind me won't stop squealing and giggling. I can't call it a conversation because they are obviously not speaking the English. It's some form of a girly, dumbed down, preppy language with a thousand "oh my god's" and "like" after every word.

I don't write the homework down. I know I won't do it. I have so much more worthwhile things to do with my time. I just _can't_ fit homework into my busy schedule.

I make my way back to my locker to play the Pick the Right Textbook game again. It takes so long to walk down to my locker and all the way back up to the third floor. I'm defiantly going to be late for…whatever class I'm going to.

I am interrupted by some guy with a friggin cape bumping into me. No lie, he's wearing a cape jacket thing and a beanie hat and he looks like he believes this makes him tougher than steel.

"Whoa superman, watch it," I say tightening my hold on my book so I don't drop it.

"You watch it punk," says Superman shoving me back into the wall. For a second I'm shocked that he pushed me. That's not how most people respond to being bumped in to. I mean _honestly_! Where are his manners!

I'm not sure why I punched him. I didn't really think about it. My fists just connected with his face all of the sudden.

"Ah....shit!" gasps Superman rubbing his jaw. I feel pretty proud of myself for doing some damage to him. It's not like I'm a bad fighter but he's about two feet taller than me and 50 pounds heavier.

I don't feel so proud when his fist is slammed into my already throbbing head. I stumble back into the wall feeling like my skull just shattered. Superman doesn't give me any time to recover; he jumps on me and starts punching every inch of me. I'm really really really regretting ever getting into this fight.

I don't feel some of the punches. I'm still a little high. But the punches to my head feel like he's slamming a sledge hammer into my brain over and over. I flail my arm out wildly trying to get him off me. My hand connects with his face once again. But he ignores my random punches and continues to try to literally beat me into the ugly tiles floor that our school picked out in the 70's.

I feel like I'm about to pass out when I feel Superman's weight being pulled off me.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" I hear someone say their voice shaking with rage.

"Get the fuck off me!" I hear Superman growl and walk away quickly. Where does he think he's going? This isn't over Superman! As soon as my head stops throbbing I will end this! Hah, I sound like a villain from a comic book.

I sit up wiping blood away from my cut lip. I feel really dizzy. Everything is sort of waving back and forth. My body stops feeling numb, and starts aching from all the new bruises. I squint up at my rescuer and see that guy that opened my locker this morning. He is seriously stacking up karma points with all his good deeds.

"Are you okay? Seifer is such a jerk!" says Axel leaning down to inspect the damage on my face. I turn my head away and regret it when the hallway spins crazily.

"I was handling it," I say trying to act cool in this very uncool situation.

"It didn't look that way," replies Axel raising his eyebrow skeptically.

"Psh, I was waiting for Superman to wear himself out. Then I was going to beat his ass." My act of coolness is failing miserably and my head feels like its being run over by a semi truck. No, make that three semi-trucks!

"Yeah whatever you say, do you want to go to the nurse?"

The first thoughts that pop into my head when someone mentions the nurse are the following:

Awkward Questions

Drug Tests

Phone Calls Home

Overall Unhappiness for Roxas

"No! No! No! Not the nurse! I'm fine," I say jumping up off the floor and backing away from Axel. My head aches more then ever and I almost face plant on the floor but I catch myself. Cause I am just that smooth.

"You don't look so good. I really think you should see the nurse," said Axel taking a step closer to me.

Without even realizing it I started to run away from Axel. I am not going to let him take me to the nurse. Oh hell to the no! If my uncle finds out I've been fighting again I am not going to be alive anymore! I just need to clean my face up and everything will be fine. I do NOT need the fucking nurse/principal/Uncle Xemnas getting into my business.

I rush down the hallway ignoring the shocked looks of my fellow students. I head for the bathroom but I see a teacher walking down the hallway straight towards me. I stop in my tracks and turn around. Teachers are worse than the nurse. They had the compassion sucked out of them sometime in their first year of teaching.

"Roxas! What happened to you?!"

I recognize Sora's voice. And it makes my ears want to bleed.

Although it kind of feels like they might already be bleeding.

I sprint back to the front of the school to the entrance. I know fighting and then leaving is probably going to get me in even more trouble. But I don't really have a better plan. I'd rather not have to deal with a screaming principal and a screaming uncle when I'm half stoned. I shove open the front doors and run like hell.

Running is great.....for nonsmokers.

I stopped to gasp for air barely two blocks away from the school. My body feels like it's about to give out. Sitting down and sleeping sounds wonderful right about now. But I'll get picked up by some cop or something if I do dumb shit like that. I need somewhere to go.

It's 9:00 a.m. on a school day.

I have only one place to go.

The one place I never want to be.

Home sweet home.

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**I dunno. This is a blehcky chappie.**

**I hope you enjoy it more than I did.**

**Review? And I'll teach you what "Du Beast ina katofo!" means. Don't check me on spelling. It's prolly wrong.**


	3. Leftovers

**I just like this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned KH. I'd be japanese and freakin rich.  
**

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Chapter 3

Home is not where the heart is.

I don't care what crap Martha Stewart has been telling you.

My home is one of those cookie cutter two-story suburban houses. _Gag me._ The garden is growing like crazy and makes the front yard look like a jungle. Nobody bothers to go out and garden anymore. It just doesn't seem important anymore.

I opened the door quietly and stepped into the house trying not to make any noise. I fail miserably when my foot comes into contact with a creaky floorboard. I silently curse myself for not being more careful.

"Roxas is that you?"

"Yeah," I said straightening up. I feel actual fear when my uncle walks into the room and pierces my with a glare that he saves extra special for me. I didn't think it was possible to dislike someone so much. But so far Xemnas has pushed my boundaries of hate pretty damn far!

"What the hell are you thinking?! You haven't been home in three days! I was about the report you a runaway!" thunders Uncle Xemnas.

"I was coming home! I really was! But I got mugged and I was passed out in an alley for a while," I say coming up with a quick lie. With my bloody mess of a face he just might believe me.

"The school called...." Damn! Damn that school and their office receptionists.

"Haven't you brought your family enough grief, you ungrateful little bastard," Xemnas says to me with an icy cold gaze. I really prefer him yelling. He has this ability to make me feel like complete shit no matter what I do.

"I'm sorry Uncle Xemnas," I say looking down at my shoes. I hate him so much. Why can't he be one of those people that die in a freak accident that I see on the news? He could be run over by a disgruntled taxi driver or torn apart by housewives fighting over some "cool" new Christmas gift. I know it's bad to wish death on people. But, seriously, I _**hate**_him.

"Look at you; you can't even block a punch. I'm sure you're father is turning over in his grave at what a disgrace his son is," seethes Uncle Xemnas his tone calm but with an undertone of disgust that I don't miss.

I don't reply even though my stomach burns with hatred when he mentions my father. No one, I repeat no one should speak about my father to me. Especially this human waste standing in front of me.

"You're suspended tomorrow. Your behavior was unacceptable; I think the school let you off too easy. I will be adding my own punishment to this later," says Xemnas smiling like punishing me is the only thing he truly enjoys.

Oh wait, it is!

"Get out of my sight," says Xemnas waving a hand lazily at me and walking back into the kitchen. He isn't very smart, because technically he just left my sight. But I don't argue because Xemnas is always fucking right no matter what!

"Who was that?" I hear my mother's slurred voice from the kitchen.

"Nothing that should worry you, Aerith," replies Xemnas in his fake nice tone he uses with my mom.

Nothing that should worry her, yeah that's exactly what I am! Mom has so much other _important_ matters to worry about. Like her freaking soap operas. Or those fucking pills Xemnas dopes her up on. Or you know that god she likes to pray to. The one that doesn't fucking exist. I can't stand her. She believes everything Xemnas tells her. She doesn't open her eyes and see that's he's taken over our lives! She's weak! She just…just…isn't fucking right! That lady in the kitchen is _not_ my mother. She stopped being my mother the moment my dad died. And now I have to live with the leftover carcass of my mother and nothing but memories of my dad. As far as I'm concerned, I'm an orphan.

I storm up to my room and slam the door behind me. I collapse face down on my bed not caring if I get blood on the sheets. Why did I come home? Seriously! What was I thinking?!

I'm stupid; I should've just gone to Xaldin's place. I'm always happy when I go there. I could've gone back to the park to hang out with that nasty pigeon. I really should get some friends so I can escape to their houses. Anything is better than Xemnas!

I turned over and stare at my ceiling. I put a bunch of glow in the dark stars over my bed. It isn't dark enough for them to glow yet. I wish I could just fall asleep. But I am starving. My stomach is about to eat itself. I am not going to the kitchen. There are knives in the kitchen, and Uncle Xemnas. I don't want to go to jail for accidentally stabbing him a couple times. Or give him the chance to stab me! I _know_ he fantasizes about killing me. He's a creepy fucker.

God I wish I had a friend. Me and Sora were really tight in middle school, until the summer of 8th grade. My life became hell in high school. Although it is all pretty much my fault. All my friends stopped talking to me because I kept flipping out on them. They don't know what happened. They didn't even try to find out what was wrong. They all were too caught up with their own drama they created themselves. I was fed up with it. I know that none of this matters. I know that everything in this world is just a BIG stall of boredom until we die. None of my "friends" got it. I guess they weren't really my friends. I don't need friends like them anyway. Fuck my age group!

I wish I would just go into a coma.

So everything would just stop and I could let myself heal. I just want to sleep. I don't want to deal with people anymore. I don't want to deal with myself anymore. I don't want to listen to my own fucking thoughts! I hate the fact that one thing, one little thing, can just eat at me until barely anything recognizable is left. I hate it more that I **don't know** what is eating at me! If I knew then I could deal with it. But I don't know where this feeling comes from!

Why should I be alive if I'm not even enjoying my life? What's the point?

Stop thinking, Roxas! Thinking makes it worse. Do something! Anything!

Get up! Get out! Get away!

I get up from my bed and start pacing around my room. I need to get out of this house. I don't want to wait up in my room to find out what my punishment is going to be. I don't want to talk to Xemnas. I don't want this. I can't handle this!

I walked over to my window and opened it as wide as it could go. There's a tree outside of my window that I usually use to sneak out. I scramble down the tree not bothering to close the window. I freaking hope some birds fly into the house and peck Xemnas to death.

It's a warmish coldish day. Like the temperature can't really make up its mind. There's a certain smell in the air that I always associate with Halloween. It's like the smell of the leaves rotting on the trees, clinging on for dear life, before a gust of wind knocks them off. For some reason this smell exhilarates me. It reminds me of when I was little.

Where am I going?

I don't really have a destination. I just need to be out doing something. I just need some fucking activity. I pulled a cigarette out and light it. My mind instantly calms down after the first drag.

I found myself back in the park. There are groups of pigeons waddling around looking for food. A few hoboes are asleep on the benches. Sunlight is filtering through the leaves of the trees. The park is nice. I can be alone in the park…if you don't count the hoboes. I check my watch, its 2:15. School is going to be let out soon.

I sigh and sit down under a big oak tree. I smoke a few more cigarettes and watch squirrels run up the trees. I feel relaxed and happy without drugs for the first time in weeks. Although, I wouldn't mind having some drugs right now. I should really go and visit Xaldin again. It's only been like…a day? I usually only go once a week, but I am stressed out! And if I want to kill some more brain cells then god damn it I am going to do it!

As soon as I feel like getting up and going across town.

I can hear the school bell ring in the distance.

A couple losers walk past me on their way home. They look over at me curiously. I can feel a bruise aching on my cheek and my lip is cut up. I still have some dried blood on my face. I probably look even more hellish than I did this morning. Fuck Superman. He was just lucky I was half out of it.

I lie back against the tree using my arms as a pillow. I'm so comfortable. I could just fall asleep here. I seem to get the best sleep in the park. Parks are just too peaceful. I start to drift off when someone decides to interrupt my nap.

"Roxas?"

I open my eyes to see who is bothering me. It's that red haired kid that had been helping me out all day. What is his deal? I'm starting to think he's been stalking me. He's not alone this time. He's with his freakish friends who are all staring at me. They all have weird hair. One has brownish blonde hair that is sticking straight up with the help of a lot a gel and hairspray. One is rocking bright pink hair. And the one carrying a load of books has odd grayish-purplish hair that covers most of his face.

No, they don't look gay at all.

"Sup," I say to Axel before closing my eyes so I can go back to sleep. I don't really feel like dealing with people right now.

I feel someone kneel down next to me and put a hand on my head. I jerk away surprised, "What the fuck dude?!"

"Are you okay?" asks Axel urgently.

"What? Yeah, I'm peachy," I reply confused.

"Are you sure? How many fingers am I holding up?" asks Axel holding up three fingers.

"Three?" I reply confused. I don't know why he's treating me like I just got hit by a car.

"Do you think he's concussed or something? Should we take him to the hospital?" asks the kid with electrified hair leaning down to look at me like I'm some sort of science specimen.

At the word hospital I jump up from my position on the ground! I hate hospitals. I hate doctors and nurses! I can't stand the smell or the white lab coats. The very thought of an ambulance makes me want to faint.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I'm fine!" I shout, backing away from Axel.

"Your appearance begs to differ," says the pink haired guy snootily.

"And your appearance says you got in a fight with bubblegum and lost," I shoot back angrily.

"Ha-ha, he got you there Marly!" laughs the electrified kid.

"You people just don't understand fabulous," replies Pinky flipping his hair in the gayest manner I have ever seen a man perform. And I've watched men give each other blowjobs in the Red Light district. I stare at Pinky blankly.

"Why did you run off at school?" asks Axel staring at me with his extraordinary green eyes. He must wear colored contacts. Everything is artificial these days. I have naturally blonde hair. But it's not special, because any dumbass can pour chemicals on their head to get the same color. Axel defiantly cheats with his eyes.

"Hm?" I reply.

"I was going to take you to the nurse and you just ran off," repeats Axel.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say pretending to be confused. It's the best way to get people to stop asking a question I don't want to answer. I already know how the conversation would go.

"I don't like nurses or doctors or any of the medical community."

"Why?"

"Cause I just don't!"

"Why not?"

"I don't like them."

"Yeah, but what's the reason?"

It can go on for hours. I'd rather just avoid it altogether.

"Today! At school! You were all beat up and I offered to take you to the nurse! But you just ran out of school!" says Axel obviously getting flustered.

"Must've been some other kid," I say starting to walk away from the group.

"What is that kid's deal?" asks Pinky in a disgustingly pompous voice. Axel stares after me with a weird look on his face. I don't like that look. I don't need someone hounding me and to _help_ me. I mean opening my locker and saving my face from getting pounded into the floor was okay, but now I'm drawing the line.

"I don't know, I just…, I don't know. Come on, let's go," I hear Axel mutter.

I think about turning around to apologize. Because it was very dick of me to just walk off. But I hear Xaldin's house calling me. I think there might have been a party going on?

I don't care. I just want to get out of my mind, messed up.

* * *

**More characters introduced! I skipped whatever Seifer part was there before. He doesn't fit in anymore.**

**Next chapter is when the plot comes up.**

**You know what's freaking lame! My friend went to tell off to some kid that sold his ELEVEN year old brother speed. And he got hit from behind with a skateboard to the head and 3 guys jumped him. What the fuck! Who does that? He had to go to the hospital. I think he's doing okay though. I dunno. It's just so stupid how everyone thinks he's a wimp because he got beat up. When he was trying to stand up for his brother and was outnumbered and hit from behind. Just stupid.**

**Review? And you can have a free (imanginary digital) parakeet!  
**


	4. Going Down

**It's been a while....**

* * *

Chapter 4

I have to go back to school today.

I don't really want to. But I never get to choose what I want to do anyway.

Xemnas went all slave driver on me the second I got home yesterday. It was lame to the MAXX! I had to clean out the freaking garage. Do you know how much junk can be found in a garage!? A lot! There was junk that has probably been in there for centuries. I'm not joking.

And I did it completely stoned out of my mind. I smoked a few joints with Xaldin and other people I don't know. The weed was strong. My throat still burns. I was way in the upper atmosphere when I got home. I have no idea how I did that impossible chore.

Whatever, it's the past.

I pulled my clothes on ignoring the pain in my body. I can practically feel the bones in my joints grinding into each other. I'm sure my knees are going to be nothing but bone dust by the end of the day. I'm so tired. My massive headache is making a reappearance.

I walk down the stairs stomping with every step. I hope I wake up Xemnas from his beauty sleep. Actually, I hope he died in his sleep so he will never wake up and bother me again.

I grab a jacket and walk out the door to wait for the bus in the freezing morning air.

After about a million years the bus finally rumbles down the street. I walk down the aisle quickly and sit by myself in the back. My head throbs. I don't want to deal with the happy children of the school bus. I try my best to ignore them. But I can't help but yell at some kid to stop staring at me or I'll stab his eyes out and bottle them as lube for dry grandma vaginas.

The kid didn't dare look at me again.

Another million years go by and I'm finally at the Twilight Town High School. It's a bright sunny day, the complete opposite of my mood. My headache gets ten times worse when I think about sitting in a classroom for the next seven hours. This is so stupid. I want to skip but I already got suspended for skipping.

Which is really stupid if you think about it? I left school, so they kicked me out for two days. Oh no! Not suspension! I hate getting free time off from school! Please don't suspend me!

I hold down a smile while I walk up the steps to school. God forbid I actually show any signs of happiness. Or anything that may make people _want_ to talk to me. Most of the kids avert their eyes when I walk by. I want to keep it that way.

"Hey Roxas!"

God damn it.

I turn around to face Sora and his silver haired friend whose name I can't remember. I'm not really good with names and I could care less what his parents decided to call him. Names don't mean anything until we start giving them meaning. If I had my way I would just call everyone "Kid" or "Hey you!"

"What?" I ask bluntly. I have a headache. I'm at school. Don't mess with me.

"Uhhh, I was just going to ask you why you weren't at school the last two days," says Sora slightly put off by my hostile attitude. His friend is looking at me like he really wants to punch me. I glare back at him daring him to make a move.

"I had a rare tropical disease. It's called StayOutofMyBusiness. Maybe you've heard of it?" I reply sarcastically. I don't know why Sora wants to be friends again all of the sudden. I don't trust him. Not one fucking bit.

"Oh, haha, very funny," Sora's friend says sounding like he doesn't think I'm very funny at all.

"Yes. I should totally be a comedian." I kind of need to pee right now. I'm done talking to them. I turn back around and start to walk away, but Sora grabs onto my arm. I jerk my arm out of his grip instinctively.

"What happened to your face? Why is it all bruised up?" My face is like a rainbow of bruises right now. It's not a pretty sight. I need to talk to Superman about this.

"It's a side effect of my illness," I answer. Sora is one of those "Violence is not the answer" people. I'd rather not have to sit through a lecture from him.

"Cut the fucking crap! Sora is just trying to be nice to you. Although you sure as hell don't deserve it!" yells The Friend getting right in my face. Lucky for me his breath is minty fresh.

"Seriously, don't mess with me today.....whatever your name is," I reply, feeling my body tense up ready for a fight.

"My name is Riku! Maybe if you weren't stoned out of your mind you would remember that," seethes Riku.

I really hate when people accuse me of something that's not true. I _wish_ I was stoned right now! I wish I had a handful of uppers or ten stamps of acid. But I'm lower than dirt on drugs and his comment pisses me off.

So that's how I found myself punching Riku in the face so hard I'm surprised my hand hasn't shattered into a million pieces.

"Stop it!" yells Sora frantically.

Riku looks surprised I hit him. Time seems to pause. I can't believe I hit him either. I lower my fist, ready to apologize, but Riku snaps out of the time pause before I can say anything. He punches me right in the gut and knocks the wind out of me. Time seems to pause. I stumble backwards and gasp for air. Before I can regain my breath, Riku slugs me in the face. My head whips around so I can hear my neck crack. Blood dribbles out of my newly re-split lip.

It feels like whatever usually holds my anger in check doesn't exist anymore. I feel anger coursing through my body. I can't form a coherent thought other than how much I want to hurt Riku.

I tackle him and start punching every part of him I can reach. I want to punch him into hamburger meat. The only thing I can focus on is swinging my fist with as much force as possible into his body. I want pain. I want **him **to feel **pain.** I want to _hurt_ him as much as possible. It scares me. I can't control myself. I'm afraid that I might actually seriously hurt him until Riku does the most underhanded, despicable, cruelest, cheating, thing he can do in a fight.

He knees me in the balls.

I stop punching him and fall backwards. I roll into a ball sucking in big gasps of air. I can't even describe the pain. I honestly don't think I have balls anymore. Riku elbows the side of my head and for a second the world spins around crazily. Like a tornado just scrambled my brains.

This sucks.

This just fucking sucks. I'm probably going to have a brain damage. I doubt my face will ever look the same after all these fights. I'm just tired. I just want to sleep. I don't want to fight anymore. All the anger that was just controlling me is bottled up again.

Sora is still standing there stupidly yelling at us. A group of students have gathered around the watch us fight. This is like their only form of entertainment. It's sad. They'll be talking about this fight for a week. There's nothing else going on in this stupid school. There's nothing else going on in there lives. And they don't even _care_ that they are generally unimportant. If they all died in a terrible fire today, then a story would be on the news. Millions of people would watch the news, without really truly caring about all the dead kids. It's only a hundred kids. They can be replaced and forgotten in a year.

We are all already Dead Kids.

I don't want to fight Riku. I never had a problem with him. My head keeps spinning, making me feel sick. I try to shove Riku off me, but my arms don't seem to have any muscles anymore.

I stop fighting back and lay still on the ground. I stare up at the ceiling trying to stop everything from spinning. I really feel like I'm going to puke. I probably would've puked already if I had time to eat this morning. Riku punches me once more in the side but stops when he realizes I'm not fighting back anymore. I just don't see the point in fighting anymore. I'm going to ultimately lose. No matter what I do, I am going to lose.

Riku gets up and stumbles backwards away from me. His nose is bleeding badly. I don't get up. My body just doesn't want to right now.

"Get up, loser," Riku spits at me.

I really wish he would let it go. I'm done fighting. My bones are mushy jello. My skin is cracked leather. My eyes are cloudy marbles. I'm just a bunch of garbage sewn together.

"GET UP!" screams Riku kicking me in the ribs. I clench my teeth so I don't moan in pain. I'm starting to believe that Riku has anger problems. He doesn't look like the usual Riku people see strolling around school. He looks deranged. Blood is pouring out of his nose. His usually perfect hair is sticking out all over the place. His face is twisted in a feral snarl.

I never thought that the primal part of the brain was real. But this is enough proof for me.

"Riku! Stop it!" yells Sora pushing Riku back away from me. Riku doesn't fight Sora but I can tell he wants to resume beating the shit out of me. I'm feeling miffed that I got the shit beat out of me for the _second_ time this week.

I close my eyes and try to wish away all the aches forming. I want to wish away Sora and Riku. I want to wish away this school. I want to wish away Xemnas. I don't want anymore problems. I want absolute peace.

"What the hell is this?!"

I open my eyes to see black boots stomping down the hallway towards our little party. All the kids that were watching hurry away to avoid being involved.

"Sora, go, I don't want you to get in trouble," whispers Riku. He seems to be back to normal.

"He's already seen me. I might as well try and take some of the heat off you," whispers Sora back.

I have a feeling all the blame is going to be nailed on me. But I can't really bring myself to care anymore.

The boots stop next to me and the psychology teacher Mr. Leonhart kneels down next to me. His face hovers over me with a concerned expression, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I whisper staring at the ceiling. I know he's going to make me stand up. I'm trying to enjoy every second of lying down as possible.

Mr. Leonhart stands back up and looks at over at Riku almost with a bored expression. I don't blame him; I'd get bored with kids beating the crap out of other kids everyday too. "Alright, everyone to the office," he says in almost a growl.

I slowly stand up trying to ignore the aching pain in my body, trying and failing. Riku glares at like it was some sort of crime for me to stand up. Mr. Leonhart stomps away, down towards the direction of the office. I take it as a hint to follow him.

The office at my school can be described in four words: The Center of Hell. The hunched over office receptionists type away with their claw-like hands. Heavy wooden doors adorn the small hallway. I have been behind enough of those doors to know exactly how much I'd rather not go behind one again.

Mr. Leonhart points at the chairs lined up against the wall. He walks down the hallway to the heavy wooden door at the end. If the office is Hell then Satan lives behind that door. Me, Riku, and Sora sit down. I make sure to have 2 seats between me and them. I cross my arms and ignore the receptionist's gaze. I really hope they don't call Xemnas. He'll kill me. Or make me wish I was dead.

Riku and Sora are whispering back and forth quickly. I'm pretty sure they are trying to come up with a good way to blame it all on me so they can go off on their merry way! I risk a glare at them before going back to zoning out on the carpet patterns.

After ten minutes Mr. Leonhart finally comes back. He points at Riku and Sora, "You two have detention for the next 2 weeks. Go to class," he points at me, "You, come with me."

Riku and Sora stare at Mr. Leonhart confused before getting a hint and hauling ass out of the office. Of course the "good" kids won't get in trouble. This is all my fault obviously!

I stand up and follow Mr. Leonhart to Satan's office. Office staff makes way for us to go through. They know I'm a dead man walking. This will probably be the last time I walk to this door. Cause there's no way I'm _not_ getting expelled.

Why even care? When has life ever been fair for me.

* * *

**Sorry bout that cliffhanger. It would've gotten too long.**

**I'll prolly update Freak Show next.**

**Or Haunting Hearts.**

**Review? =)  
**


	5. Fail

**Oh it's been ages.**

* * *

Chapter 5

"Are you fucking kidding me? I can handle my own life!" I burst out angrily.

Principal Fucktard closes her eyes and takes a deep breath like she's trying to regain self control.

I don't have self control. I'm too pissed off for that. They call me down to the office. I'm almost sure it's about the fight with Riku, but I walk in to that Axel dude sitting in one of the Bad Kid Chairs. I thought maybe he narked on me. Oh no of course it's worst than my worst case scenario, they had a grand little surprise for me.

"Roxas, your behavior is unacceptable, no, it's downright dangerous. The injuries on your face are enough proof you aren't handling your life. Many students and teachers have expressed…concerns about you. This seems to be the best way to try to get you back on the right track," says Principal Bitch in a voice that reminds me of commercials for weird hair removal products.

"What? Why don't you make me talk to the counselor or something? Call my guardians! Put me in fucking juvie! Some dude hounding me is NOT going to help me, it's going to piss me off," I say clenching the wooden armrests of my Bad Kid Chair.

"That language is not tolerated in my office," replies Principal Hoe-Bag through pursed lips, "Roxas, we know you're a smart kid. You wouldn't take those methods seriously. I think you need a more…hands-on approach. This will also give Axel community service credits and extra credit in his psychology class."

"Oh! So I'm a fucking school project now!" I burst out, "Sorry…about the language," I add after seeing Principal Goat Fucker's warning expression.

"It's either this or being expelled from this school," says Principal Dick-Tator-Tot sternly.

I weigh my options. I'll have to deal with Uncle Xemnas' wrath 24/7 or have Axel tag along with me and keep constant contact with me doing weird psych tests and shit on me until he says I'm "A Good Kid". I could fake my way through Axel's little tests. I would probably be dead by nightfall if Xemnas found out I was expelled.

I don't know. Both options sound so fun!

"God…fine I'll do it," I mutter crossing my arms. I feel like I just sold my soul to the devil.

"Great! I'm sure this will be a very fulfilling experience for both of you. Axel, you can take Roxas and go over the rules with him."

"Alright. Bye, Principal Tifa," smiles Axel getting up from his Bad Kid Chair. I almost thought he was cool, but that smile just confirmed his sucking up ways. I sit and glare at Principal Cum Face. She doesn't pay any attention to me. She just ruffles through the papers on her desk pretending like she didn't just sentence me to a Life of Hell. She isn't trying to help me. She knows I'm going to fuck up and get expelled. But now I'll be blamed for it double time.

"Come on, Roxas," says Axel opening the door.

I grudgingly get up and follow him out the door. What the hell? Who came up with this torture method for me? I don't mind Axel, but honestly…I can't deal with a person for more than five minutes without wanting to do something to piss them off. I just like testing people's limits. I want to see how much it takes until their tempers explode. It's like a hobby I dabble in.

I follow Axel down down down a lot of fucking stairs until we are on ground level again. I hate stairs. I trip down them a lot.

Axel sits down on a bench across from the lockers. I sit down 2 feet down the bench away from him. I don't trust him anymore. I didn't know he was a goody two shoes when I first met him.

"So, yeah, I know this is really weird, but it's not going to be all that bad. I'll get school credits I need to graduate next year and you won't get expelled. Even trade, right?" asks Axel looking at me like he thinks I'm going to answer.

Awkward silence.

1 second

2 seconds

3 seconds

4 seconds

5 seconds

"Right," he says answering himself, "So, the rules, I can add whatever rule I want as long as I see fit. If you break any of the rules I will report you and you will be expelled. I may be lenient during the first couple days, but you have to be giving a little effort. Okay?"

I'm not promising anything to him until I know what these rules are.

"Okay," sighs Axel. He goes into a looong explanation of The Rules. I swear he does not stop talking for a half hour. I half listen to him. I just want to get up and pace around or something! I can't sit still and just _listen_. I feel trapped. My heart is starting to flutter angrily in my chest. My body is telling me to "Get up and go fucking DO something."

I concentrate on remembering The Rules.

1. No more fighting.

2. No more drugs.

3. I have to listen to Axel and tell him where I am and what I'm doing.

4. I can't skip any school.

5. I can't piss my teachers off anymore.

6. I have to make my language and appearance acceptable.

That's all I can remember. These rules sound LAME! I already know I'm going to break them. I can't just STOP and change everything in my life. I don't want to be some lame-ass goody two-shoes. I'll find my own way around them. There is no fucking way…

"…that's it. What do you think?" finished Axel looking at me again.

I feel like my head is about to explode with pent up energy. I jump up from the bench and walk in a circle trying to shake off any thoughts my brain produced.

"Are you alright?" asks Axel.

"Yeah! I just don't like sitting still," I say back stretching my face into a forced smile.

"Do you agree to the rules?" asks Axel standing up and walking towards me. He holds out his hand for me to shake.

I stop pacing and stare at his long pale fingers. I don't agree to these rules at all, but my own hand goes traitor on me and shakes his hand.

Axel's face breaks out in a genuine grin, "Good! All you have to do is cooperate and this will be cake."

I grind my teeth nervously. I feel bad. No, I feel terrible. I need to visit Xaldin. It's been…FOREVER!

"You sure you're alright?" asks Axel.

"Yeah! I'm fantastic! What are we going to do now?" I say as perkily as I can muster. As if to answer my question the bell that says school is over rings shrilly. Did this really take all day?

Cool. No classes to sit through.

"Hmm, I guess school is over. Well, I'm supposed to go see your house. You know? Meet your parents and stuff," replies Axel way too upbeat about that suggestion.

The color drains from my face. The last thing I want is Uncle Xemnas involved in the total upset of my life. He's already screwed my life up enough.

"Are you going to tell my parents and people about _this_? I really rather not have anyone know," I ask. I don't even want to think about the crap my fellow students would say to me. They'd probably sabotage me just to get me expelled.

"It's completely confidential," answers Axel walking through the trickles of students coming from classes.

"Okay, good," I sigh.

"I'm going to go get my stuff. I'll meet you at the doors," says Axel making his way through the now crowded hallway.

I really want to run away and not wait for him. How am I going to introduce Axel to Xemnas? _I don't have friends_. Xemnas knows that. Xemnas made sure I didn't have any friends to possibly make my life happier. What is Axel going to put in that stupid little psych report after finding out about my family?

I walk through the crowd trying not to pay attention to all the shoulders bumping into me. I sit on the wall outside the doors to wait for Axel. I don't even bother getting my books. I have no idea what's going on in any of my classes. I don't really care anyway.

"Roxas!"

I look up without thinking. That Ricky…no, Riku guy is walking towards me with Sora and some kid who I think is named Walkie Talkie.

Riku's nose is a little swollen and his eyes are starting to blacken. He looks like a freaking raccoon. I bite my lip to hold back laughing my ass off. Riku has always been that pretty boy without a hair out of place. So seeing him look like complete hell is a special treat for me.

"What's up, Coon Boy?" I ask happily.

"Very funny," sneers Riku, "Are you too pussy to fight me for real or what? You run off and hide out all day after starting shit with me. That's real nice, burnout."

"I just didn't feel like fighting you," I shrug.

"Then you shouldn't have started it. Cause it's not over," says Riku stepping into my personal space bubble.

"Come on, Riku. Let's just go," says Sora nervously.

Riku ignores Sora and takes a step closer to me. I want to punch him. He is being fucking annoying. But I can't fight him again without getting expelled. I'm not going to waste my last chance on Coon Face so soon.

"Fuck off Coonie," I say through gritted teeth.

"Dude, just let it go," says Walkie Talkie.

"Shut up, Wakka!" says Riku glaring at me, "Why don't you do everyone a favor and just overdose already Roxas? Nobody wants you here. Your dad probably died to get away from you. I know I'd off myself if my kid turned out to be a piece of shit like you."

"Riku! That's going too far!" hisses Sora his eye widened in shock at the venom of Riku's words.

My blood goes cold. I feel every word slice into me. Somehow, everything I've been telling myself was just said out loud by this douche. How did he even know my dad died? Riku smirks at my stunned expression. I feel a hot wave of anger roll over my confused feelings. He has no fucking right to say this to me! I don't need this ignorant jerk summing up my life! I clench my fists ready to knock every one of Riku's teeth loose. I want to rip his tongue out and make sure he won't be able to breathe another word again.

For a second I can see Riku's cold glare hesitate.

I jump down off the wall feeling the pit of stomach burning hot with blind anger. He _better_ be afraid.

"Hey, what's going on?" chirps a familiar voice that makes me stop midstride.

Riku backs away from me quickly when he sees Axel. He gives me a cocky smirk before glancing back at Axel, "Nothing. We're just catching up. See ya later." He throws a smug look at me before turning to leave.

I clench my fists so hard I can feel my nails beginning to dig through my skin. My shoulders are shaking with the effort of not murdering Riku.

He walks down the steps with Sora and Walkie Talkie tagging along behind him a bit confused about what just happened. They look at Axel puzzled. They're probably wondering how I even know him. I try to push back some of my anger. I want to chase after Riku to rip him apart. But I can't break the stupid fucking rules right in front of Axel!

Fuck this! It's fucking stupid! I don't care!

"I just told you the rules and you're already going to break one!" says Axel exasperated.

I really don't need someone yelling at me right now. No. I'm not dealing with it. I turn away from Axel and follow the crowd down the stairs towards the buses. I wasn't breaking a rule! I controlled myself! But noooooo, no one cares how hard it was _not_ to punch that fruity little fag. I let my feet carry me wherever they please. I ignore the people I bump into. I just want to go…somewhere away from this stupid place.

Someone grabs onto my arm and yanks me away from the crowd, "Wait!"

"What do you want!" I scream spinning around to face…Sora? I feel a rush of air as the bus drives by the spot in the street I was just about to step out on.

"Um…to not see you end up as road kill," says Sora letting go of my arm and stepping away from me like I'm infected with some disease. Sora doesn't have his usual smile that I saw almost every day when we were friends. He just looks sad whenever he sees me.

"Oh…thanks," I say lamely. I would've died if Sora didn't stop me. Fucking Sora ruining my death. It would have been so easy. I'd be crushed under a bus and everyone would get a day off school. We'd all win.

"I'm really sorry about Riku. He usually is a really cool guy", says Sora quietly shaking his head. I look around for Riku. But he doesn't seem to be within the vicinity.

"Oh I'm sure he's just oodles of fun," I reply sarcastically.

"You could stand being less of a jerk yourself you know," spits Sora harshly.

"Oh but that would be against my role as The Fuck Up. I don't want to disappoint anyone's stereotype of me," I say back with a bitter undertone.

"I don't understand what happened to you", sighs Sora.

"Oh the pull of teen angst just got to me I guess. Another child left behind," I say sarcastically.

"You're not even the same person," sighs Sora shaking his head. He walks away without saying anything else.

I shrug sitting down on the curb. Sora knows most of my life up until 8th grade. He could probably right a flawless biography on me up until that point. It's for his own good he doesn't know what happened to me. I honestly don't even know what churned up my innocent hopeful 8th grade self and spat out the little ray of sunshine you see today. The Roxas that Sora knew is dead. His funeral should have been years ago.

Most of the buses and cars are gone already. Nobody likes waiting around after school. I need a cigarette. I actually need something more. But I'm just going to have to be happy with a cigarette. I inhale quickly trying to get the calming effects of the nicotine. But Riku's words are on instant replay in my head. I try to tell myself he was just going for a low blow. But everything he said is stuff I tell myself all the time. Hearing them out loud just made them seem real

I am worthless. There is no reason I should care about myself. I am set up to fail with every breath I take. My dad left me. My mom basically left me. And I have Xemnas hoping I'll leave and never return one day. My grades suck. I'll never pass a drug test. I'm susceptible to bouts of uncontrollable rage or severe depression. I am a damaged person. This is just how it is.

"You really shouldn't be smoking," says Axel sitting down next to me and plucking the cigarette from my fingertips. He tossed it on the ground and put it out with his shoe. I stared at the little crushed nicotine stick sadly. I'm happy Axel isn't bitching at me for storming off. I'm almost out of witty comebacks.

"Oh you know, can't help it, I was born this hot," I reply still staring at my lost cigarette.

"Ha Ha, very funny," says Axel letting one side of his mouth pull up in a half smile, "We missed all the buses and my car is in the shop. So I guess we're walking."

I groan remembering having to go home today. I really don't want to deal with it, "Do we have to?"

"Yep! So come on!" says Axel getting up and getting ten times happier. I close my eyes and sigh before getting up. My joints grind on each other in a very uncomfortable way. I grit my teeth and try to ignore it. I start off in the direction of the building I call my house. Axel easily strides in step with me. There is a very awkward silence between us. I realize that the first time I have ever talked to Axel was only a couple days ago. It's weird that now he's my hired snitch. I probably would have liked him if he wasn't living on the enemy side.

"So why do you look like we are about to walk off a cliff to our death?" asks Axel breaking the silence.

"I'm warning you now; my uncle is the fucking devil. Do not, I repeat, do not make eye contact with him. He will steal your soul", I say flatly.

"Do you ever give a serious answer?" sighs Axel.

"That was a serious answer", I smirk.

Axel rolls his eyes and keeps walking. I honestly do not know how Xemnas will be today. Hopefully he's in a good mood. Then I'll just get the silent treatment, which is much better than any other treatment Xemnas has given me.

We make our way up my street. All of the perfect suburban houses loom over us as we turn into the walkway. Axel is nervously checking out my jungle of a front yard.

I rest my hand on the doorknob feeling like a condemned criminal, "Ready?"

"Yep!" chirps Axel. He has no idea what he's about to walk in to.

* * *

**Cliff hanger!**


End file.
